“Are you listening to me?” You may have been asked this question because the speaker thinks you are nodding off or daydreaming. Many mistakenly think of listening as a “passive” activity: We need to sit there and let words wash over us. Yet the reality is different. Effective listening demands active participation.

In our sender-oriented society, listening is often overlooked as an essential part of the communication process. Still, research shows that adults spend about 45% of their time listening, more than any other communicative activity. In some contexts, we spend even more time listening than that. On average, workers spend 55% of their workday listening, and managers spend about 63% listening (Hargie, 2011).

The Oprah Magazine featured a cover article titled, “How to talk so people really listen: Four ways to make yourself heard.” This title leads us to expect a list of ways to leave listening to others and insists that they do so, but the article contains a surprise ending. The final piece of advice is this: “You can’t go wrong by showing interest in what other people say and making them feel important. In other words, the better you listen, the more you’ll be listened to” (Jarvis, 2009).

The adage, “We have two ears but only one mouth,” reminds us that listening is often even more important than talking. Still, many of us think that listening is the same as hearing and therefore put minimal effort into the process. The reality is quite different.

Listening versus Hearing

Hearing involves an effortless, automatic brain response to sound. Ordinarily, our environment is filled with various noises, from the hum of aeroplane engines and the buzz of lawnmowers to the whir of furnace blowers and the clatter of pots and pans. While we perceive these incidental sounds, we often train ourselves to overlook them, unless there’s a specific reason to pay attention. This selective hearing allows us to tune out auditory stimuli that are insignificant to us, while remaining alert to sounds that matter more, like the ring of our phones.

On the other hand, listening is purposeful and focused rather than accidental. As a result, it requires motivation and effort. Listening is active, focused, concentrated attention to understanding the meanings expressed by a speaker. We do not always listen at our best; later, we will examine some reasons for this and strategies for becoming more active critical listeners.

Benefits of Listening

In today’s world, a wealth of knowledge and entertainment is accessible through reading and electronic media, allowing us to revisit content if our focus strays. However, in professional and personal interactions, many crucial conversations aren’t recorded and thus can’t be revisited. Active and skilled listening in real-time has numerous advantages, including those mentioned below.

Firstly, listening is a key method for acquiring new information, playing a vital role in successfully completing tasks whether at home, work, or school. Secondly, by attentively listening to others, we provide support and foster strong, rewarding relationships with those significant to us. Thirdly, hearing others’ perspectives about us aids in forming an accurate self-image, enabling us to present ourselves confidently and effectively. Lastly, honing our listening skills can significantly enhance our academic and professional performance, leading to greater success.